Mississippi Drift or: Raft for Sale

Gentlemen,

Having determined some time ago that getting rid of a car is a once in a decade opportunity to drive it one-way to the ends of the earth and leave it for NPR to pick up, I realized today that I sit on a similar, once every 50 years opportunity with a raft. You are included in this email because you have at some point expressed a deep longing to float down the Mississippi River and/or committed to doing that with me in your besotted youth.

In short, my family has decided to get rid of the lovely ancient green raft at our cabin:


It been kickin' since the 70s. The best plan anyone's suggested is to chainsaw it up for solid waste.

Talk about waste!

The sucker is heavy, but with a few stout men and a flatbed trailer it could be moved overland for one last hurrah.

The cabin is on highway 60, 90 miles through driftless hill and dale to the Mississippi at Wabasha where I know some guides who would help with anything we ask.

I got a baby in a month so this is probably not the summer for me to live the full-fledged dream, but Amal and I and our newest drifter might could ride SAG for part of the way?

Float it down to the hobo communities of LaCrosse, Dubuque, Missouri or beyond and barter with it for your bus ticket home. Raft is made of wood so would be very easy trick out!

Tale of how to/not to do this: https://harpers.org/archive/2008/03/mississippi-drift

If a pt2pt float doesn't happen, my alternative pitch is for someone to turn it into a floating sauna, since saunas are Having a Moment and their glory will endure forever whether they're a paradigm shift like craft brewing or a fad like the open concept office.

raft
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https://stokeyard.com/collections
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https://www.youtube.com/shorts/oFqeW6dRW7I

Though note that the two plans are not mutually exclusive! :)

Inquiries, iterations, collaborations and counterproposals welcome. Free to anyone who can figure out transportation and its final place of rest!

I'm just saying: you don't run into a raft every day.

<3 Bryan